|
What Am I Going to Do
for the Rest of My Life?
by Soni Pitts
Unexpected life changes. Anticipated
transitions. Long, sleepless nights. What do these three things have in
common? The ability to provoke one of the most haunting questions in the
library of human introspectives:
"What on earth am I going to do with
the rest of my life?"
While I can't pretend to answer to this
question for anyone other than myself, I can offer those in this
position some basic tips on how to ensure that their future turns out as
bright as their class valedictorian said it would be.
Take Time To Create A Map
Too often, when faced with a major (or
even not so major) life decision, we tend to either take the first
decent choice that presents itself or we allow circumstances to choose
for us by default - putting off the decision until the inexorable
current of life sweeps us past the turning point. As you can imagine,
this is not the best way to get what you want out of life. But the
options we are faced with in life can be so wildly divergent, or so
deceptively similar, that it is difficult to know which turning to take.
Wouldn't it be great if we had some kind of road map that would help us
know which paths to follow and which to pass by?
Below are five questions that everybody
should ask himself or herself before starting out on any new path. The
answers to these questions should then be used to guide decisions and to
direct actions - when a choice comes up, simply compare the various
options with your stated desires and choose the option that takes you
closer to (or at least moves you the least farthest away from) your
destination - your stated goals and desires.
1. What does success mean to me?
Be very specific. "I want to be
rich," is not an answer - just what does "rich" mean,
anyway? Are you thinking of a set number? And if so, why? Or is the
term "rich" a substitute for certain freedoms and
opportunities that you view as coming only with money - and by
limiting them to being accessed only through money, are you missing
out on other alternative pathways?
Some more specific alternatives to
"I want to be rich," depending on the individual, might be:
"I want to have enough net income to meet my current financial
responsibilities without strain, plus have time and money left over
for travel," or "I want to be able to comfortably afford a
jet-setting lifestyle in New York City," or "I want to spend
4 days a week at home with my kids," etc. You should try to come
up with at least three answers to the question of what success really
means to you personally, with each one reflecting a different facet of
what you feel makes up a truly successful life. And keep the money
issue to just one statement - after all, such things as personal
fulfillment, spiritual meaning and other essential needs and values
cannot be solved, acquired or even influenced by money
One of the biggest obstacles to success
is that most of us have never consciously explored what that means to
us, aside from some vague and nebulous idea of fame, fortune or other
worldly success. Knowing what success really means to you - what you
hope or imagine that these generic definitions of success would
actually provide and how you want those things to physically look like
in your life - allows you to weigh your choices more accurately.
2. What are my non-negotiable needs?
List all the things that you envision
as inescapable parameters of a successful and enjoyable life. Family,
travel, no debt, pleasant work environment, social status,
contributions to society, spiritual involvement, public acclaim, love,
excitement, comfort - any or all of these, and any others you can
think of are legitimate needs that when not met create an environment
of stress, want and disempowerment in your life. Knowing what you are
not willing to do without makes the relative values of different
options clearer.
3. What are my non-negotiable boundaries?
List all the things that you absolutely
do not want present in your life. If the idea of working in a standard
hierarchical office environment makes you ill, put that down. If you
can't stand the thought of living in a cold climate, add that to the
list. If being poked fun at about your physical condition or other
attributes makes life unlivable, note that as well. By knowing what
you will not tolerate, many choices become much easier to make. Plus,
it allows you to set down rules and policies about who and what you
will invite into your life and the standards of behavior you will, and
will not, tolerate.
4. What are my key values?
Spend some time searching your soul to
come up with a list of your basic values, creating a life around which
would make you the person you want to be and allow you to live the
life you want to live. Are you the type who values honesty,
clean/green living and a deep love of nature above all things? Or are
you more of a 'comforts of home', family and fun kind of person? Do
you value charity over letting others find their way on their own, or
is it the other way around? Knowing what you truly stand for is a
vital component of good decision-making.
5. What do I want to be remembered for?
What legacy do you want to leave here
when you pass on? What do you want people to say about your life and
you as a person? What do you want to be known for? What would you like
your obituary to say about you? Knowing where you want to end up makes
choosing the path to get there, and keeping track of your progress,
infinitely easier.
Key Points To Consider
There are three key points to keep in
mind when you are faced with making life-changing decisions.
1. Look before you leap.
In life, as in commercial marketing,
"Buy now before this opportunity is gone!" is almost always
code-speak for, "Buy now, before you have time to read the fine
print." True, from time to time real, honest-to-goodness,
amazing, once-in-a-lifetime offers do come around. But if you have
laid down a foundation of well-considered choices and clear-minded
focus before this happens, you will have the presence of mind and
strength of purpose to know when to jump and when to pass, and be much
more capable of telling the difference between a missed opportunity
and a close call.
2. Life is no longer a "one chance per person"
event.
The times, they are definitely
a'changing, and one of the best things to come out of that change is
that we now understand that people change as well and that not only is
this normal, it is to be expected. The career or life that suited you
perfectly in your 20's will most likely not fit the middle-aged you,
no more than the same wardrobe or lifestyle would. Sometimes this is
merely the result of the normal process of personal evolution we all
go through as we age and mature, and sometimes it comes about suddenly
in response to reality-shifting events and life-changing transitions
such as living through a traumatic event, losing a job or getting
married.
However change comes, be prepared to go
with the flow. Don't worry about "all that time I spent in grad
school," or what your friends and family will say. In the first
instance, there is no such thing as "sunk costs" in life -
90% of nearly any education or life experience is 100% transferable to
new situations and new outlets. In sports they call it
"cross-training," and an athlete doesn't consider his or her
training complete without in. In the second instance, well, if they
love you they will want you to be happy and if they don't love you,
then who cares what they think? Besides, they're not the ones who have
to live this life - you are.
Also falling under this heading is the
admonition not to trade a good life now for some nebulous "better
tomorrow," such as spending your life zombie-ing through a career
you hate for the promise of a pensioned retirement. All too often,
these "tomorrows," if they ever do come, are no better than
the "nows" you wasted. And as often as not the stress of
living an unhappy life permanently cripples or even kills people,
physically or otherwise, well before they can get to their imagined
golden "tomorrow."
3. Trying to find your "one, true purpose" is a
waste of life.
We are all put here on this earth for
any number of reasons - some big, some small and most of which we will
never understand or even realize we've participated in until well
after they've become distant memory. Spending too much time trying to
scry your "true purpose" in the tea leaves of life can take
your attention and energy away from creating the kind of life that
would actually support the accomplishment these purposes in the first
place.
A far better is alternative to create
what I call a "Groundhog Day-Proof Life." Based on the Bill
Murray movie in which his character has to live the same day over and
over, this concept involves creating a life that reflects your values,
offers you opportunities to challenge yourself and is fulfilling
enough and just plain pleasant enough so that if by some strange
cosmic fluke you became trapped in any given day of your life, it
would be a good thing rather than a tragedy. Living this sort of life
virtually ensures that you will be who and wherer you need to be to
fulfill any purpose you may have been sent here to accomplish, while
at the same time providing you with a wonderful and rewarding
"rest of your life" in the process.
Summary
Getting the most out of life isn't about
living "right". It's about living well. Learning to
consciously steer your life in the direction you want to take it, making
the choice to live by your own set of values and desires and making sure
that you get the most out of the limited days you are given to work with
ensures that when the time comes for your life to pass before your eyes
in review, the show will definitely be worth the price of the admission.
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief
Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com.
She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul
proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the
life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free
e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100
self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other
products and resources designed to facilitate this process
of personal growth and spiritual development.
|
More Articles on Creating Success >
> >
Self
Help Programs
for Creating Success > > >
| 
